Peacemaking

I didn't start this blog to do book reviews, but this latest read is very much on my mind. I haven't been able to satisfactorily explain how it has affected me in conversations with friends, so I'll try writing...

"Peacemaking for Families" by Ken Sande talks about managing conflict in marriage, between children and between children and parents. My kids fight with each other and I hoped for an answer here. What I found surprised me. Here's a quote:

"A lot of our frustration with our children emanates from a less-than-noble source: the effect our children's behavior has on our comfort and convenience. Our kids' sinful acts make our own lives less relaxed, less peaceful, and more hectic. Or perhaps we take the misbehavior personally. It makes us look bad...The fact is, every time we have a conflict with a child, we have a choice to make: Am I going to make much of my child's sin, or am I going to make much of God's redeeming grace? It's one or the other. We will either "glorify" our child, or we will glorify the Lord."

The idea that bitterness and anger toward our children stem from our "glorifying" that behavior in a negative way was new to me. Of course, this takes for granted that we are training and discipling our children every day, it doesn't negate their sin, but teaches us to deal with it in a more God-pleasing way. Surprise, surprise. I opened a book looking for an answer to my children's childishness and found that I need to look first at my own heart. I'm humbled.